I think that I have lived a life of lies. I believe in that which is not real.  I reach for things that are just dreams.  I grasp at straws.  I am but an idiot in the grand scheme of life.  I try to discern the difference between real and pretend and come up with nothing.  Nothing but ridiculous dreams and delicious fantasies.  Key word being fantasy.  Because the world I have chosen to live in is not real.  I open my eyes each day and make decisions based on silly flights of fancy.  I do not make choices based on cold hard facts and reality.  I need to wake up.  I need to pinch my dream self and see the harsh light of today.  For life is not pretty.  It is not fairy tales and whimsy.  It is ugly and dark.  It is full of those who would steal my part in this movie I have invented called “My Life”.  I do not own me.  I do not own anything.  I am here to be pushed and pulled by the winds of deceit and the rain of despair.  I cannot wear a raincoat or put up an umbrella against this storm.  For the rain falls up and my heart is not covered. I have no skin to protect me.  I am just me, naked, raw, open.  I must let the tempest come and not fight.  For to fight is futile when you have no champion.  And I am but a pawn on this chess board of life.  I am the loser.  Check mate.  You have won.  I have lost.  I accept my defeat and eat my humble pie.  And lift my face up to the rain as I cry.  For no one can see your tears when the downpour is heavy enough.  Right?


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