I do not notice

My number is up

“99” he calls

In his monotone voice

I look up to see 100

Has passed me

Perhaps my ignorance

Of my turn

Has rendered me

An idiotic member

Of the society

Of those left behind

I shall request a turn

And I shall wait


Unless I fall asleep

Damn narcolepsy



The ship beckons me

As does it’s captain

I have not been on the ocean in years

I may get seasick

He waves to me from the bow

Sunburnt and weathered

His smile a crevice in his face

That is there even when he frowns

I hesitate at the gangplank

Afraid it looks old, susceptible to breaks

Perhaps my journey will be over before

I even board the vessel

I look up at her sails

Something foreign in this world of engines

And gas power

I remember the magnificence of wind

The power it has to move and shape

Take you somewhere you haven’t been

Or perhaps a place you remember

From some childhood wish

On the blankets of your mothers bed

While wishing for faeries and princes

And magic

As I place my foot on the deck I see

The sun is not on my face

It is on my back, burning it’s heat into

My empty soul

I try to turn to escape this ship

To run back to shore

And realize we are out to sea

My momentary lapse of thought

Was much more than that

The shore no longer visible

I am lost at sea

With this captain I do not know

And me


To answer your query

I do not believe in love

The years have shown me it is but an idea

A poem, a song, a painting

A caricature of  that we all wish for

Something not real

I can weave you a web of words

Designed to make you feel

You may presume this emotion love

But I will tell you

It is not genuine

A release of endorphins

An intake of breath

A dream you have as a child

A fairy tale

For I can say with certainty

That every time you conceive it true

You shall find yourself at some point in time

Remembering that feeling, yearning for it

As you look at your lover

Seeing the true light play on their face

Their absolute reality


A beautiful dream

But nothing more



You can call me moronic and laugh at my ineffective attempts to stay

You can sweep my tears under the rug we wove together that summer

When you still loved me

We can dance together in the dark, cheeks pressed tightly

The sound of your breath a sweet reminder of what was

Apprehensive the lights will blaze

Revealing we don’t really know how to dance together anymore

Terrified our farce will be found out

I feel a tear slip off my cheek onto yours

I inherently know your tongue will slip out to taste my sorrow

You once told me I tasted like some beautiful dream

As your mouth traversed the contours of this body

That was once possessed by your now fraudulent affections

I pull away and disappear into the dark

I hear you call my name

But just once, oh so softly

As if you don’t really want me to hear

I escape into the night and run quick and blind

From what used to be