For You

We are but a fantasy

A charade of desire and wet dreams

I created this world

The one only you and I endure in

It is laced with salacity

And the imagined taste of you

I lay my head on my pillow

Attempting to sleep to sojourn

To where we remain alone free of encumbrance

That place where your kisses are unrecompensed

The corner where I can have you inside me

Without guilt or thought of betrayal

I drift off but awake violently

To you gazing at me as you slide inside

This version of me that exists

Only for you

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The Game

It’s only a game she whispered

As I sat shivering on her back porch

The sky dappled with stars

My heart still carrying a perpetual torch

Her breath smelled of mint

Her skin was smooth and slightly damp

I trembled when she turned and brushed against me

Leaving her undeniable stamp

I tried to run away but only reached her gate

She was there waiting with a smile

I sighed and reached out to touch her

She laughed and said stay a while

I suddenly became frightened and felt a bit lost

She took my hand and led me inside

Up the stairs to her room in the attic

I remembered the last time when I had laid in her bed and cried

The door shut behind us and all was ablaze

I couldn’t see anything but her outline in the heat

My intake of air resounded in the small room

I realized it was her game and I had been beat

I acquiesced to her gentle kisses

Not realizing the pain I felt when she wrapped around me

I began to comprehend that this was the end

She told me to sleep and I knew I was finally free

Tainted

Our love it was corrupted

From the first kiss

I believed us divine

Otherworldly and blessed

The follies of inscience

I invoked complete adoration

Like a simple woman with no thought

Unknowingly tempting fortune

For you were not that

The one who would encompass me

In the folds of adoration

You were existing only for pleasure

And my belief in more

Exhausting me and rendering me

Ineffectual and insipid

Like a child begging for love

Asking for the arms that never existed

So I fly away to that place

Where I leave my irrational desires

I projected your way

So I can shed my need for something abysmal

And acquiesce to a lesser existence

Where you do not know me and

I am not myself

Yet you feel I belong to you

Never knowing the authentic me

Has been lost in my desire

For more

 

Map

The weary traveler

Came to me cotton-mouthed and hungered

Asking for the map

I gave him sustenance

Nothing more

He asked me to reconsider

Pleaded his case

Said he needed the diagram

To get to his destination

I hesitated knowing

He knew not what he was seeking

Yet his eyes, the beseeching gleam

I could not resist

And I produced the coveted sketch

His fingers clutched it longingly

Making me feel at the moment

I had chosen befittingly

He left to continue on his quest

I decorously felt noble on his leave

And continued about my daily routine

Only to have the fowl who delivers word

Drop the memoir of his voyages

Which contained his confession

Of the loss of that which he sought

His destination was never realized

He was lost along the way

When he failed to note

All the road signs

I had left

Silly wayfarer

Even more ludicrous

Me

Artificial

Knees

Hips

Breasts

Splenda

AstroTurf

Nail extensions

Perfume

Spray on tan

Plastic plants

Mocha Mix

Your heart

Violent

This savage feeling for you

Homicidal

Murderous

Passionate

Uncontrollable

Desperate

Disturbed

Riotous

Driving me mad

Making me incoherent

This thing I feel

This is violent

Perhaps

You would perhaps think that I am someone who you can learn from.  That I know things others do not.  That I am the bearer of some knowledge in an ancient urn that only I can open.

I am not.

Perhaps I will recite a parable to teach you right from wrong.  You may sit in rapt attention with your face turned up towards the sky.  The sun might dapple your skin in a myriad of light that hurts me to look at.

Or I won’t.

You would perhaps dream that I love you.  That my body entwines with yours when no one is looking.  That I will stare into your eyes and say I am yours.  That my sighs will contain only your name.

They will not.

Perhaps I will hurt you.  Wound you with my sadistic words.  Eloquently break you with my prose as you lament the pain.  Smile slyly when your tears fall on my pillow as you lay on my bed.

I will.

So perhaps you should run.  Find a place to hide that does not fall within my sights.  Sleep with a gun in your hand and one eye open.  Research ways to kill without being caught.  Decide how I will die.

You should.

Perhaps this will be futile.  Your efforts to escape my clutches will be ineffective.  Your heart will betray you as it floats into my greedy hands.  You will not notice until much too late that I am the one who possesses you.

Perhaps.

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